The Betrayal Dilemma: Exploring the Reasons Behind Relationship Cheating
There is a common saying that cheating is the biggest problem; it is more a symptom of another (albeit very painful) problem. It is reassuring to be able to spot a scam, and I am sure many people wish this were not the case. When you give it a name, like saying you have the flu, you feel like there is a cure. But in most cases, there is no cheating involved. Instead, a persistent cough could be a cold, the flu or the flu. Given that the flu is a hoax, you should look at your remaining symptoms to diagnose the disease.
Why do individuals engage in infidelity?
The reason for this is the legendary black hole. Sometimes yes, people cheat just for sex. Sometimes it’s not about the relationship, it’s because the cheater doesn’t respect the marriage. This is just a cough that can be easily cured. But in most cases, infidelity exists as part of a spider web of other things: associating the fire with another person who fulfills unnecessary desires. They have to… Maybe it’s important to get some self-esteem back, and being a desirable makes them feel good about themselves, even if just for a moment. For some, being intimate with their partner is now highly reprehensible, and cheating brings them together. Sometimes it’s control. In a marriage, it’s possible for one partner to want to have children; they lose control over what they watch on TV, what they eat, etc., and lying gives them power. Understanding why someone cheats is important to knowing how to move forward, but there’s no one way to look at it because everyone deals with pain, hurt, or boredom differently. Understanding can be a process.
Grasping the reasons is only the beginning.
Maintaining a relationship with someone who has cheated. Staying in a relationship with someone who has cheated, depends entirely on whether or not you’re willing to forgive. There are reasons why a person may stay in a relationship with a cheater, and some of these reasons should not be ignored. ‘Should you forgive’? The question that victims often hear is a relational one. Everyone will have a different answer to this. But you want to forgive… that’s the problem. And yes, it’s hard; but being able to forgive is key to staying in a relationship that has been plagued by infidelity.
Here’s how to proceed:
1. Find out why the betrayal occurred. I recommend professional/third party advice for this, because sometimes even the person committing the fraud cannot fully understand the appeal of taking what seems like an appropriate risk.
2. Find out who has the role of impostor. Sometimes the cheater blames his partner, which is a bad habit that can cause many problems in the relationship.
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