He Says I Go Out Too Often And Tries To Control My Actions.
So, you and your partner have been having a lot of arguments lately. He complains that you go out too often and keeps calling you during your nights out to check on you. He’s becoming increasingly frustrated. This type of disagreement is what I call a typical argument—it’s so common that it’s almost like bread; it’s everywhere! So, don’t jump to the conclusion that he’s the worst person in the world or that he’s insecure.
Let’s be real and honest about this situation. Imagine if your man were surrounded by a group of women of all shapes and sizes trying to talk to him—would you be okay with that? Even if he’s extremely loyal, after a few drinks, he could become vulnerable. Even if he behaves himself, people might still harass him all night. Does that sound appealing to you? I doubt it. No woman wants a bunch of other women trying to persuade her man to be with them.
But, at the same time, I used to be a stubborn and independent woman in my early 20s. I didn’t listen to anyone. I thought that insecure or bossy guys were just trying to control me and stop me from going out with my friends. I was naive. I didn’t realize that this was often just normal protective behavior from a caring boyfriend, although it also indicated a lack of trust in the relationship (this is not the same as coercive control or domestic violence situations).
You also have to consider whether there have been previous incidents when you’ve gone out that may have contributed to his behavior escalating.
- You shared your contact with a guy.
- His friends noticed you out socializing and being playful with some guys.
- You drank so much that you were stumbling around.
- You kissed someone while intoxicated.
- You were unfaithful, or you’ve been unfaithful to your exes before.
Any of these actions might make a guy feel a bit uncertain and prefer that you stay in more often. So, how do we address this issue? Honestly, having been on the dating scene for over a decade, I can tell you that arguments like this can sometimes lead to the end of a relationship.
Here are some options:
- You choose to go clubbing instead of spending time with your man. (Just kidding… but you get what I mean.).
- You reach a compromise by going out less often.
- He joins you on some of your outings.
- You could stop going out altogether to keep the peace, but it’s important to date someone who lets you be yourself.
- You build mutual trust and go out whenever you want.
Different solutions fit different couples. If you value and respect your partner, taking action is crucial. Unresolved issues can lead to breakups, so it’s important to understand his point of view and work on the relationship. Always confront problems instead of ignoring them, and remember that love shouldn’t involve control or dominance. The main point is to maintain mutual respect and trust. If doubts emerge, they need to be addressed. Many relationships end because of trust issues, not because of a lack of love.
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